It’s official, or at least will be once I’ve passed the drug and background screens: I am soon to be employed by Maine Medical Partners, Women’s Health, in the gynecologic oncology department. It’s a kind of position I’ve never held before, and I think it will be challenging and varied enough to keep me engaged for some time. It’s a small...
It’s a funny thing, that sense of security. Sometimes I crave it, other times it feels suffocating. And it always seems that what I want is the opposite of what I have. Right now, so much in my life feels — not volatile, or precarious, or any negative thing, necessarily, but… not anchored. Not certain. Not whatever-positive-thing I feel like I’m missing....
I hate having my picture taken. I loathe it. I despise nearly every photo of me (except for some reason, I almost always take a decent picture with my butch big brother, Roy; it’s like magic). So the photo shoot this past weekend was a little nerve-wracking in addition to being lots of good things. Mostly, though, the good things won out,...
It has been way too long since I’ve been able to type that subject line! I know it probably starts to sound like bragging after a while, but I am in awe of the fact that I have made significant enough changes that not seeing Richard for a month or more doesn’t leave me halfway through updating him on the...
I’ve been adding music to my Spotify library like crazy all summer; it feels so good to really get into music again, especially new genres and old favorites. I’d never seen Moulin Rouge, for which I have been properly chastised, and it has been remedied. I wish I’d seen it on the big screen, but it was so, so much...
Family is such a loaded word, a loaded concept. It can make us feel warm and safe, or anxious and alert – usually each by turns. I’ve had a lot of reasons to think about family and what it means to me, what I expect from family and what I want to give to mine. I think I’m coming to...
…you gutter-brains, get up here to grownup-world; not *that* kind. The kind full of the past. The kind that, if we’re honest with ourselves, could probably accurately be called Baggage. I opened one of mine tonight. I say “one of,” though I honestly don’t know if I have another – this one was marked as “pre-R,” and hasn’t been opened...
It sometimes feels like years and sometimes like mere weeks since Melissa and I did our letting go at Kettle Cove. Richard recommended that we revisit my writing from January and see if, despite them not being nearly as prominent a focus as I’d intended to start, I’ve made progress in those areas through the work I’ve been doing all...
It’s an age-old question that’s supposed to tell us so much about ourselves, each other: if you could have any super power, what would you choose? Inhuman strength? X-Ray vision? Mind-reading? Invisibility? To me, those last two are a little too close to omniscience for comfort. Once upon a time, I absolutely would have wanted that. Think of how easy...
It’s probably surprising to some people, but occasionally the time I spend with Richard is the most relaxed I am all week. This week has been a roller-coaster, with ups that more than compensated for the downs, but definitely some stuff I needed to address. I realized that, for the first time in a while, my anxiety was holding steady...