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Femme Flavor

February 22, 2012

Contemplative.

Sometimes, a bit of quiet is the best thing. I am taking that tonight. I had, for no apparent reason, a time of anxiety today. A period of several hours during which I could not breathe normally, during which I would all of a sudden feel as though I was about to be ill, during which I felt certain something...

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February 21, 2012

Passion.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who loved to perform. Even if it was just in the privacy of her own bedroom, putting on “concerts” with her bed as a stage where she was Madonna and her unfortunate younger brother was directed in the art of being a doo-wop boy, and they both got The Belt when they...

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February 21, 2012

Super Bass.

I had a post drafted in my head, I swear I did. But I’m tired and feel like ass and really I just want my cats and my pillows and my sleepytimes playlist. So I will give you this, a fun clip that made me a bit weepy (I am easily tearful these days) and also made me laugh delightedly....

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February 19, 2012

Placeholders.

I owe Lisa a post with a whole bunch of awesomeness we outlined while chatting earlier, but I am reserving that for a night when I feel particularly vindictive. In the meantime, I will mark the date and time so I know which chat log to refer to when the time for that post comes, and will go entertain myself...

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February 18, 2012

Regroup.

You know, as much as I usually want to give Iliena a swift kick that’ll send her flying across the room, sometimes she gets that tonight is not the night to fuck with me. And sometimes she even gets that maybe tonight would be a good night for her to be the cute, cuddly, soothing presence I need pet cats...

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February 18, 2012

Sleep.

I need about three days’ worth. Which is convenient, since I have a long weekend. Id intended to set Joshua up to guest post tonight, but I was running late to my wii date, so maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, I have just enough energy for gratitude before I crash. Friend time. The more I make a point to see...

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February 16, 2012

Small.

Sometimes, especially right after I have had to be big and strong and sturdy and stuff… I feel so small. Like a little bit that needs gathering up and petting. Like I used up every bit of grownup I have, and I just need to be small k for a minute. I can’t let Joshua see this. I can’t let...

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February 16, 2012

Spring.

It feels like Spring today. There’s a sharpness in the air, the sun feels a bit closer to the earth, small birds hop through the branches of the still-bare bushes along my street. I’m drawn instinctively to the ocean, I want to drive along the coast, to walk around Mackworth Island, to climb the rocks at Fort Williams. Mostly, though,...

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February 15, 2012

Change.

It is the only constant, no? I have lived a life full of change, usually violent shifts, unexpected jolts, things from which I had to recover quickly. I became accustomed to this, and it became a comfortable way of life. Too much stability made me restless, like I was waiting for the inevitable chaos that would make everything feel “normal”...

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February 14, 2012

Conditional love.

On this day dedicated to love, I have to admit that, if unconditional love is an unattainable goal, being loved on condition of being fed isn’t such a bad gig. Surrounded by that love right now, and grateful for it. I hope you all feel loved tonight, if not from someone on your side of the screen, then know that...

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