Sometimes in the rush of daily living, I don’t give myself time to sit with the feelings I’d rather not have. When you’re mostly experiencing fun and excitement and sweetness, why would you embrace melancholy? I think for me, it’s about that elusive vixen, Balance. I know that I need to let myself feel ALL THE THINGS or else I will lose the ability to appreciate the good because the not-good will envelop me all at once and deny me any more happiness until I deal with my shit.
One of the things I sometimes forget about mindfulness is that it isn’t always about being happy – it’s just about being present. Present with whatever I’m feeling, so I can learn from it and grow with it and accept it rather than try to fight it. So I’m going to think about some of the “meh” feelings, and what I can gain from embracing them. I’m going to listen to sad music and let it wash over me and draw out the nuances of emotion that are tucked away in the corners. I’m going to be grateful for the wonderful things in my life and not push them away or withdraw from them, because it’s okay for me to experience all of me at once. I don’t need to hide the happy or the sad; I’m allowed to feel both.
And just for fun, here’s a picture of the crazy fuzzy button flower at the farmer’s market. They do eventually bloom, but I thought it was pretty rad just like this.